Written by: Ebone McCloud
When asked to write this piece, I, like many others in the black community, was moving through the emotions of George Floyd’s murder and the actions that resulted from it. We all were coming off of a hard week of grief, sadness, action, and a whole heap of other things. Oddly enough, this was the very first time since being quarantined in March that I took the time to be still- to feel what I was feeling and to honor said feelings.
March 18th was the day that I began staying at home. Now, I had no idea what this was going to entail but all I knew was that I was going to be confined to my home for an unknown period of time. Honestly, I was ok with that. Before then, I was constantly on the move- running two businesses and working for The Silver Room, simultaneously. I never had time to just BE. Now note, nothing is wrong with building what you believe in, moment after moment, but there comes a time when stillness is needed. And my goodness, did most of us receive that good ole ‘sat down’ from the Universe.
During this time, I have been able to really get to know myself in new ways. When I say really get to know myself, I truly mean REALLY get to know myself. I’m talking everything from how I move in creating brands down to how I show up for myself in my daily life, if at all. I recognized that I was neglecting me, the very person who holds space for black women all over the country on a regular basis. The very person who creates healing tea blends and products for the wellness of the individual self. I. WAS. FORGETTING.TO.HEAL.ME.
Now, with deep gratitude, I can honestly say that being home was more of a treat than a challenge. I got to zero in on who I was becoming and currently showing up as. I still have the wonderful opportunity to focus on building my brands without any outside pressure. I’m viewing this time as an ‘incubator moment’- staying in to produce more good. I often would have discussions with close friends about how I view this time as a privilege- and trust me, being a BLACK WOMAN IN AMERICA and using the word privilege to describe a feeling I have does not go unnoticed.
I recognize that I have had the luxury of being in the house to focus on my goals and dreams. That I have not gone without or that I do not live under a roof that houses any negative living situation such as abuse or mistreatment. I know that I didn’t and don’t have to get up for work because I am an essential worker. With that, I send an immense amount of love to those that are facing such things. I will never not acknowledge that. Trust, I see you and I constantly hold space for you.
With the so called “end” of the stay at home order coming closer, I’m preparing myself for what my “normal” will look and feel like. I am aware that things will not be the same, and with good reason. I am even more aware now that my role in my community is to consistently hold space- for our grief, our joy, our triumphs, and our trials. This incubator moment has been preparing me for my higher purpose and potential and with that said, I look forward to leaning more into the work.
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